Double Helix

overshot

Binding off the lower edge of this fine-gauge shawl would have been downright grueling if not for the company of the Saturday Brunch Knitters. After that, I thought I was home free. When working the edging along the front opening, however, I decided against decreases at the neck edge. I repeated the mistake when working the collar from the provisional cast on.

Result? The unpleasant feeling of being mugged by my shawl. There's only one thing to do: frog the collar, frog the edging, and repeat. While I'm at it, though, I'll change it up. The collar needs to be shorter and better not matched to the opening edge. Now where did I put those purple beads?

Mailbag

See what the hell for responses to I Hate Toast, Claudia, Dorothy, Emily, Rebecca, Nik, Dave, Danielle, Heather

Now that you mention it ...

AntiToast, damn, you're good! Any idea about my binoculars?

Rebecca, frogging and re-knitting now accomplished. I am so sorry to hear that you mistakenly missed the brunch.

Colleen, we all seem to instinctively steer away from the crumbly stuff.

seventh and last

How to survive the State of the Union:

"Tax cut, tax relief" - drink!
"Veto" - drink!
"Terror, terrorists" - drink! oops - that's a double!

I wanted to include "Iran" but Mike vetoed me. (drink!) Just as well, as I'd still be loopy tomorrow morning. At one point, Mike just brought up the whole bottle. Anybody want to join us to watch election returns on November 4, 2008?

Now that you mention it ...

Liz, doubtless your class was a much better use of your time.

Mishka, right you are, friend! I should have brought out the bottle and switched off the tube. The sound of Bush's voice makes my teeth curl.

Katy Cassidy, when I meet someone from another country, I make a point of distancing myself from GWB as early as and as clearly as possible.

Airing, I just hope the country can recover. Give me a meritocracy, please!

Elk, I'm such a lightweight that I can deaden the pain within the first five minutes.

Dorothy, the SOTU broadcast is expected every year, and not a nuisance per se. When you've got a chief of state who is objectionable on almost every level the SOTU can only follow suit.

Liz, I just love some good alliteration.

Ariel, holy crap, did he really say that? Nothing that priceless this year.

Claudia, theoretically it's possible that someone could be worse than GWB. Any of the current contenders - even Huckabee - would each be an improvement.

Heather, good point. I guess you've got to have been born with a silver foot in your mouth (with apologies to Ann Richards) to get away with that.

Jenn C, Agreed. The booze, coupled with the fact that the end is nigh, got me through it - if barely.

Bethe, I can't believe it took me thins long to figure out how to stomach one of W's SOTU addresses.

old year, new year

At the end of 2006, the blogosphere saw a frenzy of radical stash diets, which in turn frustrated a number of yarn store owners. I considered what I'd spent in 2006 and concluded that I needed some stash rules. Posts on the topic:

• full disclosure (2006 purchases)
• boundaries and rewards (stashing rules)
• just knit faster (rules revised)
• balancing act (January report)
  
• out of bounds (February report)
  
• tally ho (March report)
• truth or dare (April and May)
• busted (June and July)

I left things hanging in early August, never quite managing to swing an update. At long last, here's what happened with the rest of 2007.

budget, August through December	$
at the end of July	- 222
getting out of bed ($1 per day)	153
packages mailed ($2 per each)	28
papers submitted ($30 per each)	60
finished objects ($1 per 30 g) small circus (600 g) tomten jacket (420 g) Pine Street Inn squares (100 g) Mafghan squares (150 g) noro striped scarf 1 (220 g) noro striped scarf 2 (240 g)	64
total yarn budget	83

And on the outgoing side of the ledger:

purchased, August through December	$
Trekking Pro Natura (A Good Yarn)	18
Megaboots (A Good Yarn)	16
Tapestry (A Good Yarn)	9
Jasper Copper Silk (Patternworks)	9
Rowan Plaid (Woolcott)	89
Jewell (Mind's Eye)	57
Blackberry Ridge Sock (Circles)	52
Shelridge Farms Sock (Circles)	44
Sheep Two (Circles)	110
Cascade 220 (Tangled Web)	54
Ella Rae (A Good Yarn)	7
Cascade 220 (Knitting Room)	80
Lucente (Knitting Room)	4
Glimmer Print (A Good Yarn)	24
Daria Multi (A Good Yarn)	24
Kureyon (A Good Yarn)	102
Kureyon Sock (A Good Yarn)	19
Kureyon Sock (Woolcott sale)	14
Cashmere Silk (Woolcott sale)	48
Baby Alpaca Grande (Woolcott sale)	32
Beatrice (Webs)	47
total spent	859
net result	- 779

How bad is negative $779? From the beginning, I assumed that purchases made with birthday money would not count, which in turn came to about $460. That means that I was over by $319 for the year. The goal was parity, so the project might be construed a failure. On the other hand, I spent $1130 less in 2007 than in 2006, so that's a move in the right direction. Even so, cubic feet of yarn is most certainly up. I need a better plan. Here it is:

End up with 2000 grams less stash by the end of the year.

• All yarn added to stash counts, even gift yarn.
• All yarn removed from stash counts, and charity projects count double.

Certainly I prefer finishing objects to parting with yarn unknit. In order to limit the temptation of simply purging my stash in favor of shiny new things, here's a second rule:

Spend less that $1200 this year on yarn.

Here's the running total for the year:

departed from stash (215 grams)	grams
alpaca vest for PeachPit	- 215
added to stash (150 grams @ $24)	grams
pink satiny sale bin stuff ($5)	50
Kureyon sock yarn ($19)	100
difference	- 65

Now that you mention it ...

Emily, I can do moderation about 80 percent of the time. I need to push it up to at least 95%.

DaviMack, restaurant receipts - now that requires real intestinal fortitude. I think eating out was how I got into significant credit debt in grad school.

Claudia, oh you temptress - offering me a wonderful rationalization. Without realizing it, I've been building a freeform stash for a couple of years. I must have one hundred single skeins, including all sorts of textures and colors.

Dava, well hello there! The crux of the problem is that my stash is getting in my way. If stash is a net positive, then it's all good. And the Kureyon sock yarn? For socks, it seems that the fiber is pretty unevenly spun. I'm crocheting it, which seems to suit the yarn just fine.

Dorothy, I love your encouraging "glass half full" comments. Regarding yarn for finishing projects this year, there are two considerations - grams and dollars. For grams, I can either add them when I get the yarn and subtract when I finish, or do neither. I get to a zero sum either way, Dollars, though, now I'll have to give that some thought.

Heather, you'll notice that it took me until the twenty-first day of the new year to get "sober." I knew what was coming.

Rebecca, I just love that you're out there musing about my loose ends!

Danielle, most days I think of myself as a total scientist, so that fits. Regarding your success last year, "All hail queen of the stash diet!"

Ariel, it's kind of like throwing up - it seems increasingly unappealing and increasingly inevitable, and when it's all over, one does feel a bit better.

I Hate Toast, oh bills! They've always given me great agida. Six years ago, DH got the bug to set up automated bill-paying, and has been dealing with it ever since. I believe that my yarn habit is not a huge financial problem, or I would have heard something about it. More than anything, it's a space problem, which could be solved with another $200,000 or so for real estate. I'd rather just rein in my materialism.

revealed

Here's a bit of silliness:

Which Dyke to Watch Out For Are You?

You scored as Stuart, partner and co-parent with bi-dyke Sparrow. You believe that values need to be backed up with action, which can make you a bit impulsive at times. Make sure to budget time and money in order to afford the winter-length utili-kilts and Air America Radio shirts you've had your eyes on.

At least I dodged the Sydney bullet! I've been trying to take the edges off my cynicism and pretension.

Now that you mention it ...

Mafia, you might be likewise surprised that this makes sense to me. I think you're a force of nature and have great talent.

Judy, now where did I put those lovely lacy things? On a related topic, it looks like you have your choice of wives, er husbands, er, wives: Rebecca, I Hate Toast, Dorothy and me.

Liz and Liz, my Stuart score was only 10% higher than my Sydney score, if it makes you feel any better.

Emily, perhaps we should lunch again soon.

what the hell ...

... are those?

1. socks and sandals (beyond the fashion pale)
2. socks and sandals in Boston in January
3. lovely HANDKNIT socks
4. all of the above

Here's the closeup:

And the inevitable question:

"How the hell did you turn up in handmade socks?"

I'll tell you. A good friend made them for me when my head was in the vise grip of a tough research problem. Come to think of it, my head has been in that same position for about a year now. Thank you, Rebecca!

Now that you mention it ...

I Hate Toast, back to the shoe culturing project, it seems.

Claudia, I'll take that immunity, but that means I better get busy with the hooks.

Dorothy, and they are just my color for socks.

Emily, we must lunch again soon.

Rebecca, right - Fleece Artist! I was hoping you would drop by and mention it.

Nik, hysterical video, yet a little unnerving.

Dave, actually, I bought the sandals to match.

Danielle, I totally agree. I feel so blessed.

Heather, I am hoping that 2008 will involve all kinds of change, including the election of Barack Obama.

heresy

This much was true:

• Boop would like a skull cap.
• The best skull caps are crocheted.
• I have crochet hooks.
• I needed a rationale for using the Noro sock yarn that I snapped up without thinking.

And then it all came together:

This is my swatch, showing double crochet (left), single crochet (middle), and half double crochet (right). I will probably work out a pattern de novo, since hats that are not head-shaped make me crazy.

Other reasons to improve the crochet chops:

• freeform (influences: Claudia and Danielle Miller)
• air travel (I have it on excellent authority that Heathrow permits no knitting needles)
• iconoclasm (always popular with me)

Mailbag

• See pain for responses to Jenn C, Mafia, Julie, Ariel, DH, Nik, Emily, Erich, I Hate Toast, and Dorothy
• See last in, first out for responses to I Hate Toast, Claudia, and Dorothy
• See the point for responses to Dave, Mishka, Heather, Dorothy, I Hate Toast, Emily, Rebecca
• See penultimate for responses to I Hate Toast, Erich
  
• See conclusion for responses to Rebecca, Bethe, I Hate Toast, Judy, Dorothy
• See charity quiz for responses to Ariel, Dorothy, Jenn C, Brenda, Rebecca, and Mafia

pain

Take a look at this:

It's an experiment. More to the point, it is an experiment that has failed over and over and over and over again. Experimental science selects for people who build up a head of optimism, charge at a cinderblock wall with no protection, smash their skulls against it, piece their skulls back together, and repeat. The driving force for this is that every once in a while, one passes through the wall and attains a secret of nature on the other side. As Nietzsche said, that which does not kill us makes us stronger. I've gotta tell you, it's a close call on this one. If I get mowed down by a truck on Longwood later today, at least I won't have to repeat this fucking experiment.

Now that you mention it ...

Jenn C, I never precisely repeat an experiment that is not working, since if science works at all, then a precise repetition should give the same useless result. In grad school, I was a sucker for just repeating things until I realized that implied a lack of confidence on my advisor's part. I now know how to deal with this suggestion.

Mafia, it means a great deal that people stop by, read a desperate post, and leave some encouraging words. I am always tickled pink to see that you've left a comment. The membrane between sanity and self-violence seems unbelievably thin at times, and more so recently than ordinarily.

Julie, it is, in fact, one of those! The damn thing either works barely or not at all. Maddening, and worse, because it really makes one wonder about the relevance of one's research. Just what is real?

Ariel, thank you for the compliments, and especially for suggesting that I have some optimism lying around here somewhere.

Dear Husband, thank you darling, for everything.

Nik, it's a pulse-chase. Newly translated proteins are labeled in vivo with radioisotope (35S methionine) then chased with cold methionine in order to evaluate protein turnover. After the time course, extracts are prepared (a real nuisance with tough as nails yeast), radio-immunoprecipitations are carried out, and proteins are resolved by SDS-PAGE. The gel is fixed and dried, then exposed to a phosphorimager screen (or film, if you are old school). It is a long process, which makes it all the more painful when it bombs.

Emily, those projects that don't work should not be propagated without full disclosure. My guess on the malate dehydrogenase: missing cofactors or lack of activating in vivo modifications.

Erich, I can translate your short response even without the longer email (which I thoroughly enjoyed): "Have read, understood, and empathize like nobody's business."

IH Toast, that's it exactly! It's not caused by reanimated or transmogrified flesh at all.

Dorothy, blind stubbornness gratefully accepted.

last in, first out

I succumbed - boy did I succumb - to the Woolcott annual post-Christmas sale. Twice. Needles almost never go on sale, probably because the profit margin is lower than that for yarn. After the self-stabbing incident, the need for fine gauge Addis was revealed. I snatched up 24" needles in sizes 0, 1, 2, and 3. Also purchased were five groups of yarn: three for gifts, one that was planned (see impalement post), and one that was not. The second time I popped into Woolcott, PeachPit was with me. She made various suggestions until finally I agreed to Baby Alpaca Grande. For her birthday, I really did whip up a little vest:

specs

• 215 grams Baby Alpaca Grande (Plymouth)
• US10, 3.3 stitches and 4.7 rows per inch
• vest recipe from Ann Budd, 4 year size
• mods
  • neck 5 inches
  • shoulders 2.5 inches
  • deeper edging
  • cabling

Note to self: provisional crocheted cast-on cannot be pulled out at the knit-purl junctures. It must be picked out.

As soft, lovely, and quick as this yarn was, I am never going to knit with it again. The allergies were brutal. Does anyone want the remainder?

• 85 grams Baby Alpaca Grande (Plymouth)
• color 2569, lot 72543

Preference given to people to whom I already owe packages (Paula, Dave, Julie, Mona, Dorothy) or people I regularly see in the flesh.

Now that you mention it ...

I Hate Toast, as always, I love your mad wordplay! Also, naked commenting - fantastic! Maybe I should make it a condition of commenting: "Dear Readers, please remove your clothes if you wish to comment. Handknits excepted." ("Don't look, Ethel! But it was too late; she'd already been mooned.")

Claudia, thanks for the major compliment. I think of myself as someone who has trouble with driving things to a conclusion; it's the perfectionism, I think.

Dorothy, zee yarn, she is yours. By all means, try a vest for Girly! With bulky yarn, it goes quickly, but puts more pressure on the finishing techniques.